Fisherman Gone Crazy

 08/09/2007

1930

I did something stupid today. I climbed from our boat over to another boat by balancing on a rope that was tied between them. Granted, the rope had a diameter of approximately 4 inches, the boats were only about six feet apart, and I made it over and back with no problem, but it was still a stupid thing to do.

Being out here all of the time can make a person lose their sense of good judgment. There are stories galore of people going crazy at sea. Some boats don’t even keep a fire ax on board because of past incidents with crazy people arming themselves with such. There are other examples of workers jumping overboard and trying to swim to shore from the offshore processing plants. I have even heard a story about those two elements being combined when a fisherman-gone-crazy wielded an ax and demanded to be taken back to shore or else he would jump overboard and swim back.

I was climbing over to the other boat so that I could get to shore and take a walk around town. However, when I got over to the other boat, I realized that I would have to jump about 10 feet down to the dock. I decided it was too dangerous, and I went back to my own boat, making the rope balancing act not only stupid and dangerous, but also pointless. For people keeping score, that would be 3 for 3 on my list of “Adjectives That I Should Probably Avoid In Life Situations”.

In Other Food News

07/26/2007

2020

Let the record reflect that the caffeine-free spree will be called off immediately. I had forgotten about sweet tea – I’m not quitting the sweet tea, and I’m kind of traumatized at my having forgotten the stuff. I’ve been away from the South for too long.

In other food news, I read today in the WSJ that people on food stamps get approximately $21 per week to buy their food. That certainly puts my food allowance in a bit of perspective – my company gives me more than that for food in each 24 hour period.

Another Reason Not to Be German

07/22/2007

1357

I looked for a whale today to no avail.

It occurs to me that when I say the preceding statement in a German accent, then it sounds like “I looked for avail today to no avail.”

Good thing I’m not German.

Another Day, Another T-Bone

07/21/2007

2041

Is it possible to be tired of eating? The mere thought of meal time makes me weary. I can only bring myself to consume one meal per day, and only then because I know that a few forced bites of rice and lettuce now will save me from the nutritional woes that I would face if I tried subsisting solely on Saltine crackers.

Eating is just another one of the activities available on the boat that keeps cycling through my daily rotation of “things to do”. Nothing special. I can think of only two things that sound appealing to me with regards to food: a chicken Caesar salad and an endless fruit buffet (with a Jello option!).

Oh well, there are worse situations to be up against.

On the Prevalence of “Chick Flicks”

07/20/2007

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Very recently I had a conversation with another observer regarding the prevalence of “chick flicks” aboard these Bering Sea fishing vessels. As much as men complain about having to sit through romantic comedies, you would think that they would be banned in this male-dominated industry, right? Apparently the owners of Miss Congeniality I & II and The Devil Wears Prada would disagree.

While this boat isn’t loaded down with movies starring Julia Roberts or Reese Witherspoon, I have noticed that every time we leave port, someone has invested in supplying the boat with the newest issues of Us Weekly and People magazine…and it’s not me.

Now I am wondering, do men secretly enjoy chick flicks and gossip magazines?

Mountains Are My Anti-Drug

07/19/2007

0745

Whenever I’m at the plant for an offload, I give some serious consideration to taking up smoking in order to deaden my sense of smell (for reasons that are obvious, I’m assuming). However, I usually look up and see the mountains, think about how smoking would negatively impact my ability to enjoy hiking, and then decide against the nicotine. I guess that makes mountains my anti-drug.

I feel cheesy now.

Would You Like to Sniff the Cap?

07/18/2007

1826

I wonder if the fishermen think it odd that I always sniff the milk in my glass before drinking it? It’s a habit that I picked up while living as a poor college student when I had a talent for maintaining what I referred to as “magic milk” (no relation to the mushrooms). For a period of about two years, it seemed that every carton of milk that I bought would not spoil until at least two weeks past its due date (if then), and it was thus dubbed “magic milk”. Now, I like to think that this had something to do with my impeccable aseptic technique (mastered in a microbiology lab, no less), but a friend from a dairy farming background said that it was because skim milk isn’t real milk. Either way – I’m in the habit of sniffing the stuff before drinking it. And, c’mon – it’s not that strange of a habit. Just think of me as a milk sommelier…or something.

07/18/2007

2144

Confession: I can’t bring myself to throw away a bottle or a jar without screwing on its lid first. I tried and had to pluck the bottle and lid out of the trash to reunited them. I know, I know. They’re both going into the trash, so what does it matter…. I don’t know, but it matters to me.

Science, politics, and journalism – oh my!

07/17/2007

0447

In this day and age, I think it seems a little silly to call my purchases at the grocery store a “splurge”, but that’s exactly what it felt like I when I walked out of the Eagle in Dutch clutching my Vanity Fair and carton of chocolate milk. It’s weird how being out of the consumer chain for just a couple of weeks can do that to a person!

 

07/17/2007

1733

Right now I’m attempting to update my resume and simply standing in awe of its disjointed nature. Things really seem to run the gamut. For example, on the line after “marine fisheries biologist”, it says that I worked as a writer for my college newspaper. After that? Political campaign experience! And the big question that I still can’t answer: do I list the position that I held at the homeless shelter? My inclination is to say no, as very little (if any) good will come from listing it here. However, I can’t decide if I’m obligated to list it there in the interest of full disclosure.

Science, politics, and journalism – oh my! What on earth will the next line of text be?

First United Methodist Church of the Bering Sea

07/15/2007

2147

One of the things that I find most difficult about this lifestyle is enduring the separation that I feel from the church. Three full weeks have passed since I was able to worship en masse. My alternative is to quietly pray and read the Bible in my stateroom while celebrating communion with a biscuit left over from breakfast and some mixed berry juice that I found in the fridge. Nothing can quite make up for the missing aspect of community, but it does cause me to appreciate my life on land a whole lot more.

Don’t Judge Me

07/14/2007

0018

I just took a shower for the first time in three days.

It’s hard to plan those things when you don’t know what you’ll be doing thirty minutes afterward. It’s always a gamble to take one at all when the nets are in the water. Trust me, the inner turmoil is there: “Do I shower now or should I wait? I wonder what’s the likelihood that I will be covered in fish guts and slime two hours from now anyway? What if I wait, and then we haul back as soon as I’m out of the shower? What if we haul back while I’m in the shower? Maybe I should just go now.”

It’s a game that you really can’t win.

In other news, I discovered that my shampoo has menthol in it. I’m not sure if I think that’s a bad thing because menthol is associated with cigarettes and I’ve been trained to think that all chemicals associated with cigarettes are bad news, or because menthol is actually a bad thing. *sigh* Maybe I should have paid more attention in my organic chemistry classes.

07/14/2007

2020

There seems to be three things that fishermen talk about: sports, fishing conditions, and their families. Sometimes they combine two of the three and talking about sport fishing or their kids’ sports teams. Right now two of the guys are discussing Pop Warner football as if it’s the most important thing in the world. However, overall it seems as though I have been assigned to work with one of the quietest sets of fishermen in all of Alaska. Mostly everyone keeps to themselves, even at mealtime. The newspapers and magazines are as much a part of supper as are the salt and silverware.